Mondays are hard for everybody.
But for Pastors, Mondays follow a previous day of highs and lows. Some Sundays, we go home exuberant and overjoyed at what the Lord did during the day of services. But other days we go home drained and wondering if we spent the vast majority of our time working on a sermon that didn’t make any difference.
On the Mondays after the “highs” of Sunday- I find myself bored and uninterested in the daily grind that is the majority of my pastoral life. I can’t wait to get back in the pulpit next week! But I’m so excited that I can’t concentrate on getting started on what I will actually be preaching in the pulpit. So it is usually a rather unproductive day.
On the Mondays after the “lows” of Sunday- I find myself mourning what should have been. Thinking about how it would have been if I had worded something different, or if I had remembered that awesome illustration. Embarrassingly, I find myself looking through social media to see if anyone commented or made mention of the day’s teaching. Oddly enough, even when I find it- on the “low” days, it doesn’t really satisfy.
This may be an odd thing for you to be reading. I tend to write as if a group of pastors is reading and nodding along in agreement. As if this may be some form of encouragement to them. And maybe some are. But when I stop and think about it- this post won’t reach more than a handful of our church members….. and of course, my Mom and Grandmother!
But in some way- maybe this helps you.
I heard a pastor talk about the difference between being “authentic” and “vulnerable.” It is an important distinction!
It is popular to be “authentic” in our world today. We are all about being “transparent.” We are unashamed about who we are! But the truth is, even while being authentic, none of us like to vulnerable. We don’t like being open about our struggles, feelings, or problems.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you start airing all of your personal struggles in the public square! But even within our own souls, we have a tendency to run and hide instead of dealing with the struggles within. And by “dealing with the struggles,” I mean running to the Savior, who is able to help us in the midst of whatever situation.
But when you are prone to depression and dark nights of the soul, if you don’t sort through these kind of days- and let yourself be vulnerable before the Lord- the only other place to go is a place of hiding. Where nothing gets sorted out, and your struggles compound into an internal struggle that eats away at every part of your life.
So on Mondays, dreary sunless days, or in the “lows” of your life- don’t run and hide. Instead, be vulnerable before the Lord. He is the one who created you. He knows your heart. Let Him take it and heal it.